Preparation

The journey continues. I decided to adopt a new approach. Even though I still had the desire for marriage, I realised that I could not allow it to become an idol in my life. There was so much more to life than marriage, so I decided to do things differently. Preparation for any new phase of life is key, and so I decided that part of my duty while waiting for marriage was to prepare myself. It is indeed sad that many people who get married make great preparations for the wedding ceremony but give little or no thought to preparing for marriage. I did not want to fall into that trap and so I did all I could to get myself prepared. I read books and articles, watched videos, attended marriage and relationship seminars and listened to marriage and family programs on Christian radio. My eyes were open to new information, and I was eager to learn all that I could.

In 2021, I began to follow a Christian marriage and relationship expert on Youtube. Her content included prayers and teaching sessions specifically geared for single women. I became a consistent follower and eventually in 2022 participated in her 6-month marriage mentorship programme online. It was an eyeopener. For the first time in my life I was being taught about God’s plan and intention for marriage and the necessity to understand and align oneself with God’s plan for marriage. It also looked at the role of the woman how she fit into God’s plan of being a suitable helper to her husband and thus solving the problem of him being alone. Together, the man and woman who have been put together by God will do great things in the earth as they together seek to fulfil the dominion mandate given by God. The teaching was life changing and provided a wealth of new information for which I am truly grateful.  I continue to pray for my future husband and my future marriage in obedience to the Word of God in Proverbs 3: 5-6 which says, trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path.

At the time of writing, my prayer for a spouse has still not been answered but I am trusting God that He will come through for me as he cannot lie. (Numbers 23:19). I am learning to trust Him and wait patiently for Him. I know that my character and patience are being developed. It is said that God doesn’t always calm the storm; He sometimes calms His child. I can testify to that.

I am still living single but my attitude has changed and . I know that God is working on me. He is not through with me yet.  In January of 2021, I had a dream in which my car was at the garage. At the end of the process the car looked spanking brand new. I could not believe my eyes. I woke up from the dream with a knowing in my spirit that God was sending me an important message. He was working on me and preparing me for ministry.  To God be the glory! Great things He has done and will continue to do.

One of the major lessons that I have learnt along this journey is that I should not compare myself to anyone else. I am a unique individual and God has a distinct plan for me. His plan for me is different from the plans for others and so it is quite silly to compare myself to others. We all have different paths in life and we progress at different speeds. So the fact that my sisters got married early has nothing to do with me. God has a different plan for me and by His grace I will carry it out. I am now at a place of peace and rest in God. I know that God is in control  and that in His time, He will do it and it will be worth the wait. It is better to marry late than to marry wrong. R. C. Blakes , in his video How to Attract your Soulmate, makes a profound statement that  ‘wives wait; girlfriends go for anything’. I see myself as a wife, so I am willing to wait for God’s best instead of settling for less.

A Word to Single Women

Being single is not an easy road but by the grace of God you can do it. According to Matthew 6:33, seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.  I encourage you to find your place in the Kingdom and serve. Find your purpose and fulfil it so that your mind can be fully occupied, leaving less time for boredom and distraction. Do not be anxious. Be at rest and allow God to work. As hard as it is, allow God to work, do not take matters into your hands, especially when you get frustrated.

Learn to rest in God’s unchanging and unconditional love. Seek to bask in His love first. Remember that the Word says For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.(Isaiah 54:5).Encourage yourself in the Lord as David did. Know that you are not defined by your marital status. You have worth whether single or married. Your worth is in who God says you are and He says you are blessed and highly favoured. He says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

When you seek to find yourself you put yourself in a position to be found by someone. Find you!

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