This morning as I did some housework the Lord dropped something into my spirit. He reminded me that my birthday was 4 days away and I was not in a state of anxiety. This may sound strange to you as you are probably wondering, who gets anxious at the approach of a birthday? Well, I am guilty, or at least, used to be guilty.

It all started years ago, in my first year at Hampton School, St. Elizabeth, Jamaica. There I was, a tiny girl, a wee lass, merely 4ft 11 inches, and weighing 83 lbs. It was my birthday, November 8, and I was standing in line for supper. I was a tiny first former, and in front of me was a much bigger and younger second former. I excitedly shared my good news with her. It was my birthday! She asked,” how old are you?” “13”, I responded. She looked me with disdain, turned up her nose and said, ‘lawd missis, yuh ole eeh!” (Oh Lord girl, you are so old!). My heart sank, my face fell. I wished the earth would open and swallow me up. I felt such shame and rejection. I wanted to curl up into a little ball and die, never to be seen again. I decided there and then that this would never happen again. I decided that from henceforth my birthday would be top secret. Nobody else would get a chance to hurt me like that again.

I was wounded and ignorant of how to properly process the hurt and shame that enveloped me. I internalized the experience, not realizing that my being so “old” according to that student, was in no way something to be ashamed of. Truth be told, I share a distinct genetic trait which causes all my family members to look years younger than our actual age. The Peter Pan gene it is called. It was, and still is a plus, but I was blind to the obvious. Click here to read more about the Peter Pan gene.

So, the wound festered, leading to much anxiety and stress each ensuing year as my birthday approached. I would anticipate the day with dread and for many years, during the ensuing six years of high school, would always be sick on the day, and be absent from classes or other activities. The trend continued well into my adult years, where I would go into hiding by taking the day off from work if my birthday fell during the work week. I would endure the day, wishing that it would end and allow me to get on with my life. I was bound by fear and anxiety caused by a word course spoken over me by someone who, to this day, remains clueless as to the devastating and harmful effects that her words had caused. My reaction to her careless words belied the myth in the words, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me. Nothing could be further from the truth!

As an adult, years after the experience, I was still suffering the trauma from the incident and realized that it had to be dealt with but did not know how to get the help I needed. Thankfully, I was exposed to teachings at church and other related fora that afforded me the opportunity to look at the matter from a spiritual perspective. I realized that I had accepted the negative words spoken over me and had allowed myself to become a prisoner of fear. I was being held captive by chains and needed to be delivered from this bondage. Through study, meditation and application of the Word of God regarding who I have made all the difference in my life. I have come to the understanding that the TRUTH regarding my worth and my identity reside in who God says I am. What anyone else thinks is merely a matter of opinion, which I have no control over. What I can control is to accept who God says I am and to walk in that truth. In that regard, I have rejected the words spoken over me at age 13, and have accepted what God says about me:

1. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
2. I am the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:14)
3. I am flourishing like a palm tree, staying fresh and green and productive even in old age ( Psalm 92: 12-15)

By declaring these and other Scriptural truths over my life and rejecting the lies of the enemy, I have overcome, and in the last few years, have reached a place of rest and peace, free from the anxieties of the past. I can now openly talk about and anticipate my birthday. In fact, I was a little disappointed that the usual housekeeping matters relating to the celebration of birthdays and anniversaries for the month was not done in church yesterday, as is usually done on the first Sunday of the month. Thankfully, my church brother and mentor stepped up to the plate and prayed over me after the service. The lies of the enemy no longer have a hold on me. I have been set free and my mind has been renewed by the Word of God (Romans 12:2).

I hope that this testimony has been a blessing to someone. We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelations 12:11). There is purpose in our pain and God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Do not be silenced by the enemy. When we go through negative experiences he often isolates us and let us think that we are all alone, and no one else is having the same issue. The truth is that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). We all have common experiences and so be assured that the issue you face now is being faced by others, (who like you, have chosen to keep silent), have been faced by others in the past, and will be faced by others in the future. There is value in sharing your testimony. Itis important for your healing and it can save the life of another. Do not keep it to yourself.

What is your testimony? What is your story? Share it now. Begin your journey to wholeness by leaving your thoughts in the comments section. Let’s talk!

Click here to read about other testimonies of God’s goodness in my life by purchasing my books Memorial Stones: Testimonies of God’s Faithfulness and Provision in Times of Need Volumes 1 & 2. Happy reading and remember to subscribe to receive the blog by email. Every blessing!